By: Kirstie Pike, CEO Prois Hunting & Field Apparel for Women
OK. We have too many windows in our house. Not enough walls.
Let’s face it. We have fabulous views. Amazing sunrises. Gorgeous sunsets. We can gaze out over the ranch and Blue Mesa Reservoir. Yes. We have windows.
Walls? Not so much.
Why is this a problem, you might ask?
We are quite simply out of room. No more room for goat mounts. No more room for Dall sheep mounts. Nope. Don’t even think about another moose…the current moose on the wall will never come down without a divorce decree. And even if it did- I can neither confirm nor deny that it most likely cannot fit out any doors. We still don’t know how we got it inside in the first place. So where would the extra mounts end up? Prois of course.
It dawned on me today that this was becoming problematic while I was cleaning the Prois warehouse (yes…I do this. I am the CEO and I do this. I also clean toilets but that is a story for another day) I was trying to sort through crates and boxes when I kept tripping over some elk mounts conveniently stored here. Yes. Plural. There are two. Sitting on the floor by the bay doors. And trust me, they do not conveniently tuck up close to the wall. Or anything else for that matter.
These suckers have been down here for months now. And let me tell you…they are gorgeous. However, one currently functions as a rack for the broom and shop vac. The other is simply a nuisance and occasionally gores unsuspecting shipping clerks who aren’t on the top of their game. Don’t believe me? Take a peek.
I don’t know how or why they are here, but I am willing to bet this is not how they envisioned their sweet eternity.
Don’t fret. They are not alone. The warehouse and office walls are cluttered with bucks, bulls, geese and mountain lions that found themselves homeless. I have to confess…we even have a bull on the wall that belonged to a friend who just couldn’t take it with him to his new forever home. So I am now in the adoption business. For a limited time, we even had a sheep down here that was perilously close to Bunbun’s cage and resulted in a head-butt each time we fed the rabbit. We had a name for said sheep, but believe it or not we just can’t share that.
I have been working tirelessly to decide what to do with all of these wayward mounts. My 17 year old currently uses the moose at our house for a clothes drying rack. Good idea. But we don’t do laundry down here. So that seems senseless. While functioning as racks for cleaning supplies currently works… it just doesn’t feel majestic. Put them on the wall? Oy…we are out of wall room here too. Toilet paper holders? Eh…this would make a trip to the bathroom a bit perilous and I’m not certain Work Comp covers this.
What’s a girl to do?