Latest Blog Posts

From the Prois Ladies Room~ Inventory, Schmenventory.

It’s time for quarterly inventory in the Prois warehouse.  Needless to say, the crew is cranky.  Morale is in the toilet.  There are no rainbows.  There are no unicorns.

It’s not that counting inventory is so difficult. It really isn’t.

It’s counting camouflage inventory that is difficult.
It all looks the same.  It is camouflage.

 

 

The Husband Sweat-Shop

You already know that Prois is the most technical, functional, hard-core women’s hunting and field apparel on the market. We know you already know that Prois is badassery defined.  And we shouldn’t even need to point out that the best looking ladies in the world work for and support Prois! That’s a given!

We are certain, however, that there is one important detail about Prois that you do not yet know.

“Where do all the clothes come from?” You ask?

Why, a “Husband Sweat-Shop”, but of course!

We had the pleasure of meeting Kathie Smith Langdon in Salt Lake City. When she decided to sneak away from the booth to try on a jacket, she left her husband behind as collateral (typical protocol). As handsome as he is, he fell to the same fate that has met many a husband; Kathy never came back. She chose the jacket and ran!

Although devastating for her husband, Prois was ecstatic to have such fresh strong muscle for our sweat-shop!

So, here he is diligently reporting to duty, ensuring that the world will continue to be supplied with the best Women’s Hunting Apparel on the market.

From the Prois Ladies Room…Choose Your Super Hero Wisely.

BY: Kirstie Pike, CEO Prois (aka…Manshoe)

Recent events in the Prois offices have lead to an out and out rivalry.

So you want a personal hero.
“It’s Thor”, you say.
“He’s dreamy”, you say.
“He can guard my glitter nail polish”, you say.

Well, I already have a personal hero.
It’s Hulk.
He guards my Storm Trooper candy dish.
Hulk is not dreamy.
Hulk is strong like ox.

 

HULK SMASH THOR

 I am thinking that you need to invest a bit more forethought into your super-hero choice.

Just sayin’.

To My Sistah From Another Yeti Mistah! — By Andrea Fisher- Prois Event Staffer!

To my Sistah from a Yeti mistah!  OK, for the Bigfoot story:  From one size 10 to another:

For a number of years I have hunted whitetail deer down in Dallas, Perry and Wilcox Counties, Alabama, on some private land owned by a family who run a cattle and timber business.  Their land consists of pine forests in various stages of growth, clear cuts, green fields, and swampy areas, all located near and along the Cahaba and Alabama Rivers.  Permanent tree stands are located throughout the properties, offering many, many hunting opportunities.   This is located in the fabulous Black Belt region of Alabama, where the habitat is managed closely and the deer herd is extremely healthy

There are lots of deer there, and the whitetail season runs until the end of January, extending the hunting season and providing for a nice winter vacation from the Northern snow and ice.  In January, you can get a mixed bag of weather.  Some years, you can be hunting in afternoon temperatures of high 60′s and other years, it has been into the 20′s.  Normally, the temperatures are pleasant, and it is a true relaxing vacation, complete with comfortable accommodations and excellent Southern cooking that is SO good including perennial favorites such as fried chicken, biscuits, gravy, piles of sausage, bacon and eggs for breakfast,  and some of the other oh-so-scrumptious yet artery clamping dishes would send  a cardiologist into hysterical fits.  But y’all know that sitting in a tree stand all day is mighty hard work, and makes for a powerful appetite.  And one certainly does not want to offend the cook!

 

Incidentally, hunting deer in the Deep South is a unique experience for a Northerner, used to the snowy woods of Maine and Vermont.  Warmer Southern ‘Spring’ weather, singing birds and strutting turkey, even in January, adds to the wonderful fun.  I just LOVE it!  Sitting high in a tree stand, surrounded by piney woods, palmettos, kudzu and Spanish Moss stirring softly in the wind is quite pleasant when one is accustomed to snowy stump-sitting in single digit temperatures.

Anywho, the good old boys on the property down there, had lots of stories, and maybe delighted (good naturedly) in yanking the chain of a Yankee from time to time.  So they were telling me one year, probably back in 2002, that there was a Dallas County version of Sasquatch roaming around, visiting hunters sitting in tree stands, and that the creature was huge, smelled bad, popped its teeth like a bear when angry and lots of people had run into it this Southern Sasquatch.  It apparently had scared the Bee Jesus  out of many tough and grown men.  They talked it up big that night, in front of the fire, and while I could tell they had told this story before, I sensed this tale was enjoying some impromptu embellishment just for me.

Intrigued, I went home that year and googled up ‘Dallas County Sasquatch’ and saw that indeed one was frequently sighted around Dallas County and this creature was still a dark mystery.  I found myself thinking of this Southern Sasquatch once in a while, and conjured up an image of a large, hairy swamp ’thang’, covered in wet, slimy kudzu, that roamed the countryside during deer season peeking into hunter’s blinds and keeping hunters in their tree stands long after dark.

The following year I went down to hunt, and one afternoon was sitting in a very remote tree stand, overlooking a cut swath and a gas line easement.  The cut swath was about 50 yards across, and my view stretched about 300 yards in front of me, and up the gradual incline of a hill.  The ladder tree stand was along the edge, with thick pine woods behind me, and nothing for miles but piney woods and cotton fields.   I was all alone, way out in the middle of East Boo Foo, and one of the good old boys was supposed to pick me up at the black top road, about 1/3 mile away after dark.  I had my .357 revolver and my rifle, a .270, and of course a daypack and a flashlight.  After dark, all I needed to do was to follow the cut line back to up the road.

So I sat all afternoon, and saw no deer.  I saw a few turkey and a bobcat that afternoon in the clearing, and as I waited and watched the sun go down, everything turned to fuzzy dark shadows in the dimming light of the cut line.  The moon began to rise, two owls began their back-and-forth dialogue, and a nearby pack of coyotes started their evening yipping and howling.  And, of course I started thinking of Sasquatch!  It was about then I saw this long dark shadow cross the cut line about 100 yards away.  I looked through the binos hoping they would give me a little illumination, but no.  I know I saw something and it looked like an upright form, walking across the clearing and disappearing into the woods.  I felt an icy finger touch the back of my neck, and I was officially spooked!

My heart was pounding, but not like it pounds when buck fever strikes.  I was a little unnerved and for one of the few times in my life, I could not move.  I felt as if I were made of lead!  Then I heard rustling in the woods behind me.  So I sat and sat, not wanting to get out of the stand.  Finally I talked myself into braving the walk to the road.  Heck, I had two firearms with me!  Why should I be afraid?  I climbed out of the stand and beat feet up to the road, feeling a little foolish, and heard no teeth popping behind me as I moved as fast as I could to get out of there, glancing all around me as I streaked to the road.  I did not dare tell the Alabama boys my story, as I knew they would be laughing at this Yankee!

 

I probably saw a deer cross that evening, but it was dark and my mind was spooked.  Feels silly now to think of it, and how I reacted, as I do not usually get spooked in the woods, and I can laugh at myself now, but I am still not sure about what I saw, Kirstie….

Maybe yo’ Mama?

LOL!

Name That Employee!

In light of some recent desk pranking here at Prois, we thought it would be interesting to invite all of our followers on a magical, dangerous and highly entertaining adventure: a tour through 3 Prois employee desks.  Can you guess which desk belongs to Katherine, Joni and Shonda? These fascinating glimpses into the psyche of each one of these ladies may be disturbing to some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.

Desk Number 1: Our first desk is meticulously organized, color coordinated and very professional. Hands down the most focused desk we will see today. Silly putty seems to be the only indication that the owner of this work space is in fact human and not a robot. There is also a sassy reminder pinned to the cork board to warn any trespassers that the owner of this desk is full of salt and vinegar.

Desk Number 2: Ok, hold on tight, things are about to get weird. The second desk we will be touring today contained some of the most interesting items. Behold: a Barbie Human Centipede, a woopie cushion, Nerf gun, feminine douches (please note that these items are used as part of a prank and in no way suggest poor feminine hygiene), more Silly Putty, a princess wand, a tiara, a wooden back scratcher, and some old Christmas and Valentines day decor.

 

Desk Number 3: Wow, talk about the inability to let go of childhood. How much glitter and unicorns does a girl really need to get through the day? Apparently, a lot. Here we find and excessive amount of chewing gum (hinting at terrible breath), fireworks, glitter fingernail polish, glittery high heels, Animal Spirit “knowledge cards”, a strange porcelain unicorn box, a unicorn mug, and fish tank accessories. Intriguing…

Well, hope you enjoyed the tour! Think you know who owns each desk? Let us know! Also, make sure to follow Prois on Pinterest at http://pinterest.com/prois, where each one of these nut-ball employees diligently display their antics on their own boards. Kirstie (Manshoe), Joni (H3P), Katherine (Bird Lady), Shonda (Honey Badger) and of course Bunbun bid you a fabulous afternoon!

Small Things Come in Big Packages

By Katherine Grand

A riveting true story . . . call to inquire about the movie rights.

 

 

My good friend Mary who works for FedEx walked in with an exceeding large box.  I am taking refrigerator sized Jerry rigged box that at least 7 umpa lumpas could fit inside.  I saw her carrying it in and admired her physical prowess as she seemed not to be phased in the least by this enormous and I assumed heavy box.

Boxicus Humungolous

I called out “That thing is huge!”. She said, “Yeah but it’s really light.” 

 

What could it be I wondered?  I opened it up to see the most unexpected and ridiculous contents imaginable.  Well I guess the contents were not so strange as the amount of space that was utilized.  Inside this box that could house a large family of badgers was a broken fishing rod and a Pro-Edition Jacket.

What in the . . . ?

These items had been deemed defective by a big box store that shall remain nameless and sent back to us for a refund.  Strangely we do not make fishing rods and the PHD candidate that packed this box had mistaken the wayward rod for a second Pro-Edition Jacket.  Strange days indeed.  Luckily we now have a castle, or submarine, or cave, or spaceship available when we need a break from work at the Prois office.

Katherine's famous possessed by demons look

 

Cleanliness is Next to Kirstieness

By Katherine Grand

 

Kirstie Pike, AKA Manshoe, and CEO of Prois Hunting Apparel is insanely clean and organized person.  She derives more pleasure from cleaning out her garage than I do from eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.  She is borderline OCD if not certifiable.  I am confused by her tendencies as cleaning my garage is akin to my own personal hell and I am extremely good at finding things I would rather do than clean or organize, hence, the state of my house.

Kirstie's pristine work area

Working  for  Kirstie has been a challenge and  a crash course in cleanliness and organization to say the least.  She very patiently leaves me subtle notes from my inanimate objects within my office that tell me they are very sad about being dirty.

Kirstie is currently on the road through March 5th and I am here all by my lonesome sitting in my quiet lonely cave with no music and the shades drawn tight.  Somehow my desk knew Kirstie would be gone and spontaneously erupted.  Luckily I have almost two weeks to wallow in my own filth before boss lady returns and I find a vacuum cleaner parked in my office.  

Sad but true, my messy desk

 

From the Prois Ladies Room… Prois Expands Their Shenanigans to Pinterest

Oh Pinterest! How we love you!

We just have to let it be known the Prois Hunting Apparel has hit the Pinterest world in our typical Prois Style. Not only can you check out the latest Prois gear and the amazing ladies of Prois…you can follow the bizarre antics of our staff- Manshoe, Bird Lady and H3P.  Honey Badger won’t participate.  And we fear her enough not to make her do so.

We can neither confirm nor deny that our Pinterest escapades may or may not include yoga on the boss’s desk, super hero blow pops or cardboard shrines in the shipping room.  Maybe some Mexican Hat Dances on a co-workers desk.  Maybe.

Once Prois hit the Pinterest world, it becomes astutely clear…
Pinterest really isn’t just for crafts, fashion tips and recipes anymore.

Come On…You Know You Want to Check  it Out!

http://pinterest.com/prois/

Check out the Prois Shenanigans at Pinterest!

From the Prois Ladies Room…Cupid Gives Me the Willies.

By: Kirstie Pike-CEO Prois Hunting Apparel

I’m not a huge fan of Valentines Day.

I’ve tried to find different ways to figure out why I am so conflicted about Valentine’s Day.

Is it because Valentine’s Day  is a commercial day  built on the premises of consumerism and guilt with a thinly veiled message of love and affection?

No.  It’s not that. Although that is an excellent point.

Is it because I do not love love?

Nope.

I love love. I just hate cupid.

He’s lame.

And I find his whole terrifying persona a psychiatric case study.  Seriously.  Why is a half-naked child tasked with the duty of encouraging love and affection.  First…he is half-naked and I am most likely not alone in thinking this is conflicted.  Second…he looks so angelic and charismatic, yet he has violent tendencies without regard to others.  Can you say ‘sociopath’?  Nothing says ‘love’ better than receiving a flesh wound from a sociopathic, half-dressed, flying child.

See what I mean?
…and the last thing I want is a hunk of chocolate cast in the likeness of this evil child.

I shudder to think what will happen when Cupid upgrades his traditional bow to a crossbow.

…and people think the tooth fairy is scary.

 

 

From The Prois Ladies Room…We have the best friends EVAH!

Tis true…tis true.

Check out just a few of the amazing goodies sent to the Prois offices by our buddies that we fondly refer to as “the Prois Posse”.

Bacon Dental Floss. Check.
Doody Head Game. Check.
Unicorn Meat. Check.
Coffee Dental Floss. Check.
PMS Gum. Check.

So. What we are wondering is this… What are they trying to tell us!?!
Are we PMS’y carnivores that pray on magical beasts?
Is our breath so bad that even bacon flavored floss will improve it?
Are we $h*%heads? Figuratively and literally?

Who knows. But it’s got us scratching. Our heads, I mean. In wonder.

Alas…we love our Posse and thank you Stephanie, Kara, Mia and Michelle for the laughs. We are just trying to figure out if you are laughing with us or at us.

On second thought…we’d rather not know.

A Plethora of Puzzling Prizes from the Prois Posse!!!

So…if you are curious and want to see what crazy antics the Prois Posse is up to…follow us on Facebook!
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Prois-Hunting-Field-Apparel-for-Women/110925409020195?fref=ts